and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
