and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
