Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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