airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
