gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
