...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
