I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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