Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
vagina is talking i cant
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
