You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
