he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
