Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
