Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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