The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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