Where is the hickey?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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