what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
