this beer tastes like vomit already
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I understand Curling. That high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
