if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
