I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Barsexuality is the new black.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
