My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
