yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
