I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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