Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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