btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
