my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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