I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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