so explain again why im purple
no
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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