guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
