The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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