I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
