even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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