did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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