It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize