my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize