where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I need moral support for this bender
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
