Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
