I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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