ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
