Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
