I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
