Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just threw up on my dentist
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize