she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
