this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
