We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
