So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize