She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
