just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
