I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
