Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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