the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
