So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
