Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize