STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
