Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
