Dual....:-)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
