she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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