she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
