Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
