He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
