hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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