How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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