Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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