Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize