I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
