What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
