Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
