I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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