it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
home. puking in laundry basket.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize