i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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