I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My penis needs a shock collar
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
