Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
