ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize