My sheets look like a crime scene.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is the high leading the old right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize