Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
