but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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