Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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