my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
