And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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