i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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